Marriage counseling or couples counseling is a type of psychotherapy. It can help couples of all types resolve conflicts, improve communication skills and all around improve the relationship. I would say 80% of the couples we see in counseling, is not because anyone was unfaithful or physically/ emotionally abusive.. it usually is because communication has broken down somewhere in the relationship. Many times when a couple has been together for an amount of time, they or one partner, just stop trying. When couples are younger and raising kids, they are focused on their jobs, kids school, dinner, housework, bringing kids to activities etc. Kids take up the majority of the “home time” which is expected when you are raising a family. So in most cases, these “young couples” come to us and we assist them to find a balance and create some alone time on a weekly basis that there is a reconnection that involves just them. Date night, or putting the kids to bed a bit earlier once a week and cooking a special meal to sit down together as a couple. This is usually helpful. Marriage is work and that work continues from the time you get together all through the relationship. More frequently we see couples in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, that come to us because they feel “disconnected” from each other. A typical scenario would be the following; a married couple with grown children who both still have careers, come home from work, cook dinner (or order takeout), he goes outside with an iPad to watch sports, youtube videos, catch up on news, checks his email, or social media perhaps while having a cocktail. His partner might do some laundry, clean up a bit, and either scroll through Facebook, watch TV, read a book, or do something else in another area in the home. They had a minimal conversation; how was your day? Fine. That was the extent of the communication for the evening. At bedtime, he might fall asleep on the couch and she is in bed. Or they do go to bed, say goodnight and roll over. This scenario can carry on for weeks, months, or even years, until one day they or one of them decides this isn’t working and call us for help. Both the younger couples and the older couples issues are totally fixable if they are both willing to commit to working together with their Therapist and do the work. While there is no quick fix, we can usually get couples back on track sometimes with just a few sessions. If the issues are larger, or one person may be struggling with a mental health issue or a drug or alcohol concern, that may take a bit longer. www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-to-solve-them
